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Human Resources is full of crap

October 23, 2012

(Who are these jerks?)

If you’ve ever been on a job search, and chances are you have, you’ve seen the most ridiculous ads for jobs. On an almost daily basis I come across an ad that wants references, resume, cover letter, and writing samples. Now, seriously, are they really going to read all that? I doubt it. They are going to get more than 100 responses to their posting. Are they going to read: 100 cover letters, 100 reference lists, 100 resumes, and 300 writing samples? No way.

I don’t understand how the people that manage hiring can keep their jobs with nonsense like this. I should be getting paid to do this. I have a much more simple method of hiring someone. Hear me out. Instead of the ridiculous method described above, I will post an ad with very specific requirements detailing what I am looking for in terms of education and experience. Then in the ad I will say to simply send your resume. Ok, now I have 100+ resumes. What I will do at this point is remove those resumes that don’t have the education and experience I’m looking for. Hopefully, I will have whittled my pile down to half or more, and all without age, gender, or class discrimination (I don’t even have an equal opportunity adviser).

Next, I’ll be a little more selective. What are some of the things I will look at? Well, let’s assume this is a job that requires a BS in Engineering and at least two years of experience. I’ve already weeded out the people that don’t have at least that. There must be people in there that have an MS. That’s better, so they go to the other pile. There must also be people with more than 2 years experience. They go to the other pile too. I should have a shorter, separate pile now.

Ok, so let’s say that I still have too many resumes. I want about a dozen and I have 30. There must be some other legal ways to eliminate resumes. Job gaps? Well, maybe, but I might want to let someone explain those. Job hopping? It depends. Maybe the person moved around a lot for other reasons. I wouldn’t wan’t to disqualify him for that. Aha! Grade point average. I could maybe select the top twelve if they listed it. But maybe I have too few now. Maybe only 8 of the people listed their GPA. I need 4 more resumes before I start calling people. Screw it, I’m done. I’ve got 8 people for one position.

Here’s my next step–phone interview. Here I just verify things on the resume for the most part, and listen to tone of voice and optimism and stuff like that. I’m not hiring a Debbie Downer. I want someone positive and dynamic on my staff. After these interviews I will select 4 people to come in for an interview. That’s it.

But you can see how little time this took as compared to asking those 100 people for a bunch of paperwork. Ridiculous.


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  1. If only the job search process worked the way it should! I’m convinced they make it infinitely more difficult than it needs to be.

  2. Love your article about job searching. Also love the photo. I like how all the people over you are smiling. If the person was having a heart attack that would not be the case. So the only explanation is the person passed out from drinking too much. That is probably not a good idea on the first job interview. Speaking of work is a funny way to look at cooking…

  3. John permalink

    Human resources is just the private sectors wasteful bureaucracy. Have seen family members go through cover letters, resume, writing samples and references to apply for a job. Then a phone or personal interview with an outside “consultant”. After this a further panel interview with the actual company then weeks later a final deciding interview with direct management. All this for a 12 MONTH CONTRACT JOB. Have also seen similar processes for PART-TIME JOBS with no benefits etc. It’s the have and the have nots. Usually boomers with the full time jobs that they probably obtained through a family friend or by scratching on an application form (remember those) vs the more qualified younger generations (X,Y millennials) fighting for the scraps (internships, part-time, contract).

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