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Bad (Good) Advice for Job Seekers

October 3, 2012










(This picture annoys me.)

What a great time we live in–for those of us who can afford it. As part of my contribution to our society I want to offer some job search advice for the uninitiated, or those that may have “given up” looking for work. By the way, how do they figure someone has “stopped looking for work.” That doesn’t make any sense to me. You lost your job and looked for while and then just stopped? How do you plan on eating? My intuition tells me everyone would like to be happy and that having food is a prerequisite, but my intuitions have been wrong before.

In any case, here are some tips for the would-be job seeker based on my experience with interviewers and job postings.

  1. Update your resume. How are you going to explain to the interviewer that the resume you submitted for the job didn’t have your most recent influential contributions to collating copies and acting as a middle-man between the customer and your boss? Put that all-important stuff on your resume now! Also, try some trendy stuff like company logos and other things that don’t have anything to do with your abilities–hiring managers love that.
  2. Contact your references. What are you going to do when they call one of your references and she says, “Who?” You have to call your references for the 20th time so they don’t forget you and take time out of their busy schedule to give your prospective employer your dates of service to the Company.
  3. Tailor your cover letter to the specific position. Sure, you send out like 50 cover letters a week, but so what? Tailor all of them to each of the positions you are applying for so that the human resources person doesn’t get in trouble with her supervisor, who gets yelled at by the hiring manager for putting resumes on his desk without any meaningful cover letter that makes him feel important before you’re even hired.
  4. Offer oral pleasure to your current employer. Sometimes, just being an honest, hardworking employee at a company that doesn’t care about you isn’t enough. You need that extra something so your current employer will give you a glowing recommendation. Unemployed? Forget about it, you don’t have a chance with this economy.

Try these tips–they’ve worked for me. I also offer career advice on my blog here like 24/7.



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